Didn't your mother ever teach you not to tourment cutters? Maybe she should have...Because then the girl would have had an outlet..
She closed one..Lost another.. And only had twoleft. There goes one...Cutting, now not exactly an option. Because he stopped her.. She's angery now... She wants to get away... He knows her little secret now.. Adn he doesn't understand her logic. Probably because he at least, is sane. One outlet left.. Don'tt rip it away from her like you did the cutting.
"Open the door..." "Open it", "If you don't answer me, I'll open it myself " ........ -Pause-...... "Fine, I'll open it myself.." - He prys open the door with a spoon. - "Let me see your arms." - Her eyes overflow with tears - "No...." her voice is faint..... She's not completely there yet. In shock as well, that he knows. - Her mind reels and ends up at the scene of insanity. Realizing her only regret is that she let so much of the blood roll beautifully form her wrist to the sheets. Caught up in the moment. The sheer extasy of the the blade caressing her skin fiercely..
So much of it fell yto the maroon masses of fabric. You can barely see the crimson stains. But since so much of her life line fell, the sheet, once saturated in blood, gave way letting it seep into her new matress. Never the less, it felt good.
She remebers how thoughtless and carefree she was. Smiling ecentrically. But everything is cold and sureal now....
Then reality hits her like a freight train slamming her consciouness into oblivian.
"I found a blade in the bathroom...." Did you cut yourself with it." "Let me see your wrist now." --- She remembers putting her blade safely away with the others. She wasn't being careless.... The blade he found was an old one.. With rust feeding away on the edges... She's not stupid, she wouldn't cut herself with a rusted blade--- Why say anything to him though? He's already assumed an answer.... But She won't show him the laceracion...That's instant isilam for her.. Not Bay Behavioral agian...Not again.... - "Why are your bags packed?" He thinks she's leaving again - She's not... They were packed from earlier when she was alowed to spend the night at her cousin's house... - Her thoughst take motion again and race back to the much anticipated night at her cousin's house... -
She was going to to get away from Sam... Go to her aunt's and help out. Probably talk and hang out with Zack, sleep secure, wake happy, and all was going to be bliss.... - Sam took it from her. Because she wasn't partial to the thought of Sam as her "mother"... Seh hated sam so much at that moment.... Then at realization of not being able to get away from the yelling, the screaming, thee obscenities, and her broken; distorted mind and image... She cracked.
And cut one deep line into her wrist.. The blood rolled off her arm andinto the sheets. Each splatter of of freshly realeased blood tossed tiny pearls of red across the vast sheets. And they were so impeccable... Shining, comforting, then they slowly seeped into nothingness.
- She screamed an explanation for the bags at her father who's own threatening tone was one to be reckoned with. He bowed up to her .. Seh thought he was going to strike her like he had doen so many countless times before... But he dropped his arm when she covered her face and breast with her arms.. Sheilding them from any oncoming attacks.... -
And after taunting her, voice raised, making her feel like slitting thoughs silky blood stained wrist again.... He left..
She slammed the door in his face while he was still belowing insults at her fragile ego... Or what was left of it...
She's alone... He told her she'd never leave the house, but that doesn't matter right now.....
She's dead. Gone. Inside.... She's dead.
And her funeral took the form of her brother. She knows he's in his room thinking about cutting himself. - She silently wishes him luck.
"And I wander, where I'll end up and everything will be be fine. Fine, fine, fine, everything wil be fine...."
It sounded so insane wehn she whispered it to herself, in the shower willing the cut to stop bleeding. Maybe it was because of the white surroundings.. The shower wall the floor, shower curtain.... All white... And the one impurity.. Herself...She claims that's why it sounded so insane... But she's lying to herself.
-Samara (wrote it last night around 2:00) .. I haven't had a chance to sleep yet.. | 
